WELP.. first days of the tour have been pretty interesting.. the radio show in knoxville went pretty well. we played with a christan accordian harmonica duo who were on a baptist church tour, and a songwriter filled with very very very painful greif and anguish. we got about 12 min at the end. so we smoked it and completed the yin yang for the show. the weather sucked bad and i hit an old insurance settlement fisherman in the parking lot upon exit, the damage to his car(gangsted out truck actually) was minimal could have fixed it in the lot. the van got a dent which really sucks, cops came etc etc.. the dude is already calling me on the phone.ha! (you think my piece of shit phone service actually allows me to return ure call, dreamin bub, dreamin.) didnt really have the energy to deal with the situation, deemed it completely ridiculous and forgot about it.. might mail the guy a roll of duct tape and a paint pen. that afternoon got some family time in and crushed some heinekens with some local stars.
on to nashville, to where we were supposedly playing with a guy who has a big draw- thus meaning we were going to make decent cash.. not the case.. the drive went well thank god i finally got an ipod. if i heard anymore radio i was going to kick the shit out of it. anyway, i got to the city early enough to take a bike ride and drink a cold brew at the roberts western world cowboy bar. we sound checked w/a guy who had as much shit as captured by robots (if you dont know cbr you should, this guy rocks), so we played in about a 10ft sq space surrounded by shit, literally.. the show started late as there were no pople in the venue, except for the 8 frat guys who really hated duncan and i.. we smoked the shit out this place and actually had a good show. no free drinks and we walked with $25..crying.. duncan hauled ass back to eastern tn to finish a job there, and i then saw a shitty rockabilly band with a mega hot bass blayer. pretty funny scene as these anihilated tourist (perhaps woodshop teachers from ann arbor) stoled the bands beer and left them chineese take out. having about all of it i could stand i rode my bike back to the bar where we played earlier to collect my $12.50. jetted,peeling out and screaming in rage as i left the parking lot i calmly hit the walmarts woke up in the usual sea of cars and bored shopping cart crashing employees, hiding the fact that yes that is actually a stream of piss coming from that sketchy van door parked next to the light pole on the front row next to the grocery entrance.
luckily, i had the brainstorm to play on the streets of nashville. so i thought..
after pondering in lowes hardware for about 1 hr in the pluming section how to build a great kick drum from a bucket i hit the town.. in a matter of minutes i made 1.75, close to what i had made the night before, ha! i was forced out of my location by horse driven carts shitting and cruising tourists around the cowboy areas. saw a very cool dog riding on a horse, no shit. i walked to a new spot and every thirty yards there was a haggard old cowboy playing some songs for what looked like pennies they looked like hell and shit, i felt bad for them, but with the cash for musicians in the area in a seeming drought like state, i would look and feel shitty also. i then just felt compelled to just give it hell ans show my ass a little bit, i found a street corner witha shit load of people around. everybody took my picture, "hey man its a real one man band," "nice gimmick ""what the fuck it that" roared from the crowd of onlookers, i thought to myself what the fuck is wrong with these people? so my earnings for the past 24 hrs would be a whoppin $14.25, . so if you are a street performer dont go to nashville, and if you are a touring act or bar performer.. good luck, cause chances are you aint goint to make the rent in this place.
so duncan is going to stay in the mountains. and the one man band will play out the rest of the shows for april. im sad slam duncan cant make it, but the show goes on.and we will join forces in the days to come to rock the shit out of you.
this weekend should be great as im headed for the juke joint festival in clarksdale ms. hope to be bruising it heavily buzzed on a slot machine in tunica by sunday.. keep yall posted.
ps sometimes the bad ass horses come out of the gates kinda slow. and yes the shake it like a caveman foundation accepts direct deposit.
pss i also forgot the part where i almost got into a bum fight and had to pull a crack head type guy out of my van, who was sneakily telling me how much he appreciated my being a musican to bring world peace, and how were all pals while trying to steal everything in site, i pushed him out of the van door told him to get the fuck out of my space and his wishes for world peace turned into him screaming with all his might and hobbling away..." your a punk ass bitch, your a motherfucker. ha!..... those who laugh last.
see you soon